By Mama Dash
Pictures by: Cait Day
It’s time for a revolution my friends.
- Down Pillows
For fucks sake, use those bastards. And we mean, USE THEM. If there was ever a toxic relationship in our home, it would be with our down pillows. We literally abuse them, and they show up day after day, shapely and standing at attention in their designated spots. If you’re going to please your mama then put those bitches in a basket. If you want to rebel, we dare you; rest your make-up’ed face and high standards on them. STAT.
We are dead serious. So serious, we’re about to start a march and hand out fertility treatments and lighters. Your sweet ass candle you spent half a day working for SHOULD be lit. Just like your evenings once you get that wick wet. Er, we meant lit. Face it, good candles cost money. That money is spent on high-end ingredients that SPECIFICALLY can throw a hot scent. You pay these prices to ensure the burn time is longer and that scent is sexy af.
It’s called mood lighting and with the waves of our current political climate, we must disguise ourselves in shadows and romcoms, meaning; turn your lamps on people. And we didn’t want to say it here, but we must: dim them, we beg you. Frankly, let those babies burn all night. With your high-end candles saving the planet, maybe you can sacrifice some energy efficiency and keep those mood lights on 24/7. T W E N T Y F O U R S E V E N Your mental health will thank you.
Now that we’ve christened you to our antics, welcome to Dash where bad advice exists and good ideas blooms.